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CAVDs give 'Liners involuntary root canal, beat defending VMRESSSS champs 8-7

Carla McAloney swings for the fences against the CAVDs. The Headliners tied the game 7-7 in the top of the eighth inning before giving up the winning run in the bottom of the stanza to lose the game.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com correspondent

Talk about reversal of fortune.

The Headliners, fresh off nearly knocking off the juggernaut Masterbatters in the Midseason Classic finale, lost 8-7 to the expansion CAVDs in VMRESSSSSS regular season action at Montgomery Park North Centre on Monday night.

The 'Liners were shut out for five innings, despite having a line-up that included most of their regulars. All told, they had just three hits and four base runners through the five frames.

The most surprising thing of all? Team captain Ewen was upbeat afterwards.

"We'll learn from this," said Ewen, while munching on some Sour Keys. (Shameless sweets placement here.) "We didn't hit line drives. We hit too many fly balls. That was a big thing with missing Rintoul -- he leads by example when it comes to hitting line drives.

"We've lost to worst teams than that. The CAVDs hit the ball, they made plays in the field, they got decent pitching. I remember we gave the Yankmees their first win. I remember we gave the Blunterz their first win. I remember we gave Infowave their first win. We're going to be just fine. We're going to make a run at this thing."

The 'Liners did rally with four runs in their final at-bats to make things interesting. Carrie and D-Tam led the way there, with back-to-back singles to lead things off.

Call-up Bruce led the way on the night, going 3-for-4 with a two-run home run.

It was the CAVDs second win of the season.

Ewen's 'flat-ass' stymies Shockers

Showing Some Range ... Headliners pitcher Steve (Wink) Ewen reaches for a ball hit up the middle in Tuesday night's 19-9 win against the Shockers.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Pop Culture Reporter

What next? Will David Cassidy make a comeback?

Ewen, who's first outing on the mound this season was horrendous, allowed just three runs in seven innings in relief to help the Headliners to a 19-9 victory over the surging Shockers Tuesday night in the cozy confines of Gordon Park South East.

Ewen went with his one pitch, the flat-ass knuckleball, the entire outing, and thanks to some over-aggressive Shockers and a speedy Headliner outfield of D-Watts, Rintoul, call-up Scott and call-up C-Watson, he allowed just eight hits.

Ewen was too tired to talk after the game, so the media was actually permitted by the team captain to talk to some other 'Liners.

"Ewen's always swung the bat like a pitcher, so it was nice to see him throw it a little like a pitcher for a change," said the Midnight Rider, the masked Headliner. "And my good buddy Kennedy -- he sure is a good guy, that Kennedy -- always says the same thing."

"I've heard of this Ewen guy before, but I'm not sure if that was him," said second sacker Lainger. "It was good we got some innings out of him, so we could save Michelle and Rintoul for the tournament. And what field were we at anyway?"

"I'm so angry my head might pop off," said slugger Biff. "But I hope everybody had some fun."

"How did Grant get into this story?" said centre fielder Rintoul, careful to go with the given name of the pitcher/infielder rather than the nickname. "He wasn't even at the game."

"I don't know...I think Ewen actually is back at work and has to get some stuff done and he can't spend too much time working on the update this week," said third sacker D-Tam.

Good thing for Ewen it was fairly quick game after both teams put up six-spots in the first. The 'Liners scored three in the fifth to stretch their lead to 12-8 and then got six in the seventh, highlighted by a three-run tater by call-up Scott, to blow the contest open.

Scott was 3-for-4 with two runs and four RBIs. D-Watts was 4-for-5, with three runs and three RBIs and Brett continued to look like the league's most valuable player (this message brought to up by the office of Get Brett The MVP), going 4-for-5 with five runs scored and two RBIs.

Headliners stink up the joint in 26-16 loss

Girl Power ... Carrie Watson, the newest Headliner and wife of OF D-Watts, went 3-for-4 with a double and three runs scored in her VMRESSSSS debut.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Foreign Correspondent

The Headliners were in a more giving moody than Mike Gillis Tuesday night. They were also more painful to watch than Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder's recent left testicular fracture.

Yes, everybody's favourite slopitch entertainment conglomerate gave and received painfully, ending up on the wrong end of 26-16 decision to DP2 on Canada Day BBQ Night at Gordon Park West Centre.

They fielded the ball like it was red-hot burger off D-Tam's grill. Making matters worse, they swung the bat like they were searching for lowfat Mayonnaise in the 'Liner snacks.

"I don't know much, but even I realize that's not a good combination," said 'Liner captain Ewen, in between bites of a D-Tam Dog. (Shameless D-Tam plug.) "They did hit the ball very well. They were full value for the victory. But we didn't do much to help ourselves."

There were some stars. Newcomer C-Watson was 3-for-4 with a double and three runs scored. Her beau, D-Watts, was 5-for-5 with two home runs and Biff produced a 4-for-5 night.

The rest of the line-up, unfortunately, supplied 11 hits.

The 'Liners, of course, weren't much better with the gloves. The team that regularly pitches three up, three down innings didn't have a single one against DP2 and had one scoreless inning defensively on the night. There were errors in the infield, errors in the outfield.

"I still talk to Coach regularly," Ewen said of the absent with leave slugging outfielder, "and I was bragging about where we were at so far this season earlier in the week and he told me, 'Lets see how you do without Brett and Michelle and Rintoul this week. That will be a test.'

"In a related story, I don't think I'm going to talk to Coach anymore."

The 'Liners, now 4-2, sit in fourth spot in the eight-team VMRESS with one game before the Midseason Classic. The 'Liners finish off the first half by taking on the expansion Shockers Tuesday at Gordon Park Southeast. The 2-4 Shockers had a bye this week but spanked the Drag-Ons 35-15 last week.