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Headliners hand Masterbatters first loss in two seasons

Wymer the Pitching Machine ... Behind Michelle Wymer's clutch performance on the mound, the Headliners pulled off a 12-11 comeback win against the Masterbatters.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Reporter

The last time the Headliners met the Masterbatters, all the talk was about the walks. This time when everybody's favourite slopitch entertainment franchise faced the Evil Empire, it was about the walk-off.
Jordy's two-out single in the bottom of the eighth inning plated D-Watts from second base and gave the 'Liners a 12-11 comeback win over the 'Batters in VMRESSSSS league action at Montgomery Park South East.

The triumph, which ended a 40-game win streak by the reigning league champion 'Batters, was a small measure of revenge for the 'Liners arch rivals coming back from an 11-3 fourth-inning deficit to score an 18-17 extra inning win in the Midseason Classic tournament finale earlier this month. That game the stingy 'Batters, who aren't afraid to take a walk, waited and worked their way in to seven bases on balls from 'Liner lefty Michelle.

Monday, they managed to get just two free passes from Michelle, both in the first inning, and that was key to the 'Liner victory.

"I'm not going to lie -- there were points in the first and the second that I thought she was coming unglued," said 'Liner captain Ewen. "But she really pulled it together, even with our defence in the second letting her down, and she led us to the victory. She forced them to hit the ball, and after the second inning, I thought we played pretty good defence.

"It wasn't our best team, with Rintoul and Lainger and Grant and Tracey away, among others. And it wasn't their best team, with them playing 6-and-4 because of Stevie Y. and D-Mo being away. Still, any time you beat the 'Batters is a good time."

Excluding a controversial forfeit loss to the Mudhens last season, the 'Batters hadn't been defeated since falling to DP2 in the 2007 semifinals.

Monday, they got off to a good start. They were down 4-3 after the first, and in the second, they took advantage of some shoddy 'Liner glove work - lowlighted by Ewen botching a simple pop up at first base -- to put up a six spot.

But they were stymied after that. Cav, playing second base, combined with catcher Carla to throw out two runners at the plate in the third inning, the first of four scoreless frames put up by the 'Liners on the night.
The 'Batters tried to pressure Colby in right field. He was solid, though. The infield of Cav, shortstop Brett and third sacker D-Tam pounced on ground balls, and Ewen even dug out a couple of throws to help out.
"I think we gave Michelle some confidence," said Ewen.

The 'Batters didn't quit, too their credit, and knotted things at 11-11 in the top of the eighth when Jordie's infield single scored Brian. In the bottom of the frame, D-Watts nubbed a single down the third base line with two outs. He stole second and then came home on Jordy's single to left.

It was Jordy's first hit on the night.

"I knew Jordy was going to get it done," said Ewen, who had thrust the rookie outfielder into the clean-up slot.

The 'Liners (8-2-2) are now two points up on the 39ers (8-4-0) in the race for second place. Both teams have two games remaining, starting with the 39ers' contest tonight against Carol-Ann's Rhinos.

39ers dispatched, bring on the Evil Empire

No Time for Autographs ... Outfielder Scott Rintoul got on base six times and scored six times to lead the Headliners against the 39ers, 29-15.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Reporter

The Headliners' bats were hot enough to cook steak blue rare in their warm-up to face the dreaded Masterbatters.

Everybody's favourite slopitch entertainment franchise prepped for Monday's match-up with the Evil Empire by dispatching the 39ers 29-15 this past Monday at Montgomery Park North Centre.

The 'Liners (7-2-2) had a 21-3 lead after their bats in the top of the fifth inning and coasted home against a 39er side (8-4-0) they're battling for second spot in the VMRESSSSSSSSS standings with.

It was the ideal primer for the upcoming showdown with their arch rivals, the 'Batters (12-0-0).

"The last few games are the best we've played in the last couple of years," said team captain Ewen, in between various samples of Kennedy's Tapas Snacks. (Shameless plug for the Premier in waiting, in hopes of getting the Minister In Charge of Wordy Press Releases job in his cabinet.) "We should have beat the Masterbatters in the tournament final. We hung tough with a pretty good Shocker team with a depleted line-up. And that 39er game was way more about us being good than them being bad.

"We put the ball hard on the ground and run the bases, nobody beats us. Nobody. I don't care if the 'Batters make like the Bangles and Walk Like An  Egyptian or make like Lou Reed in 1973 and Walk On The Wild Side or even go all Dionne Warwick in 1964, well before she went all Psychic Network, and Walk On By. We swing the bat like we can, nobody beats us. What they do is irrelevant. We pay way too much attention to what they do."

Rintoul was in the swing of things on Monday, going 6-for-7 with six runs scored and two RBIs. He will have to skip Monday's game, due to a recording session for a rapping jingle  (Flip Flop Shop Hip Hop, as it were) for the new sandal store he and his wife Fiona have opened.  Tracey will also miss the game. We're not sure why; we were too afraid to ask.

Lainger is expected to return the line-up, just as long as he doesn't have to stand anywhere close to Holly.

Fit to be tied

Old School or Just Plain Old? ... Outfielder Rick Ramsbottom had three RBIs from the clean-up spot.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Medical Reporter

On a night when the Headliners went old school, a couple of their veteran players saw their lives past before their eyes.

With the ballyhooed Rammer and esteemed Kennedy making rare appearances, Ewen and Lainger were lucky to escape with only brusied egos in a 15-15 draw with the Shockers at Montgomery Park Southeast.

Ewen took the mound, due to Michelle and Grant being away, and was nearly impaled by a pair of line drives off the bats of those dastardly Shocker women. At least, though, it was the opponents trying to get him. Lainger was the victim of Holly thinking it was Saturday night at the bar rather than Monday night at ball -- she dropped the shoulder and laid him out while they were both chasing down a pop up in shallow left field.

"Apparently someone was a little bit too excited about Kennedy being back with the wrestling pre-game intros," Ewen said later of Holly, who was handed the handle of Hardcore, an ode to the former WWE midcarder, by Kennedy during a Midseason Classic a couple of years ago. "And she didn't just flatten him either. She popped right back up and I swear I heard her say, 'So, are you making breakfast in the morning?'

"Other than that and those line drives, it was a pretty fun night. They're a good team and a good bunch, so I don't mind tying them. And we played pretty well, especially missing the likes of Grant, Michelle, Brett and Rintoul."

Kennedy and Rammer did have a part in that. Hitting in the No. 2 slot, Kennedy was 4-for-5 with a double, a triple and four runs scored. He also made a nifty catch from his second base slot, getting out of his traditional tea-pot stance in time to snag a liner in the sixth.

Right fielder Rammer, meanwhile, was thrust into the clean-up role and was 3-for-5, with a double, a run score and three RBIs.

D-Watts, as per usual, paced the offence like a young John Bowker, hitting for the cycle in his 4-for-5 outing. He had four runs scored and four RBIs.

He made three or four dazzling catches in centre field as well, but also dropped a fly ball, his first such incident as a 'Liner.

Granted, nobody thought that he had a chance to run that ball down when it came off the bat, but he did drop it.

"Seriously?" said Shocker pitcher Arnie, who somehow got into this story. "You're going to bring that up? After the way that guy played for you guys? Seriously? Seriously?"

Nah, we're just playing around.

The scoreboard was pretty serious, though, for much of the affair. (EDITOR'S NOTE: That my friends, is called a segue. It's not a good one, but it's still a segue.) The Shockers, led by Dylan and one-time 'Liner call-up Scott, had a 10-9 lead after five innings. The 'Liners had a 12-11 margin going into the last regulation bats in the eighth.

The Shockers scored three in the top of the frame, highlighted by a two-run homer by Scott, to go up 14-12, but the 'Liners knotted it at 14-14, thanks to a two-run homer of his own by D-Watts. The Shockers scored once in the eight and were threatening for more before Lainger nabbed a scorching line drive and doubled off a runner at first.

The 'Liners tied up in the eighth when a Ewen single plated Jordy. The teams then agreed that it was getting dark and they would split the points.

The 'Liners return to action Monday, taking on the 39ers in a 6:30 p.m. start at Montgomery Park North Centre. The 39ers (7-3-0) and 'Liners (6-2-2) are tied for the second-most points in the league.

Mid-Season Classic title slips from 'Liners hands

Dead on Arrival ... Headliners first baseman Tracey Moffat doubles up a Masterbatter player during the annual VMRESSSSS Mid-Season Classic at Gordon Park.

By Steve Ewen
HitBallFar.com Charity Reporter

Just wanted to drop a line to thank everybody for all the efforts put forth this weekend. It was one of my favourite Midseason Tournaments ever.

For those who missed it, we lost 18-17 (or something like that...I'm working at Canada Cup as we speak) to the Masterbatters in extra innings in the championship game. They were taking pitches that missed by just that much and were walking like crazy, like they do. 

 Whatever ... we swing the bat like we're capable and nobody beats us, no matter how much they walk and talk and mock.

Highlights for me from the weekend:

• Top-shelf snacks from Carla, D-Tam and others...
• Call-up Gooey hitting ball far and oppo in his first at-bat
• Call-up Gooey doing shots with Shy Michelle from DP2 (I'm SO getting an invite to that wedding after all the wingman work I did for him...YES...)
• Call-up Lindsay's boy yippin' at the Masterbatters
• Shy Michelle of DP2 complaining to me that "a bunch," of our guys were hitting on her
• Getting some decent intros (finally), thanks to the arrival of Kennedy
• Great d from guys like Cav, Biff and Brett
• Not-so great d from a bunch of us (we know who were were...)
• Michelle apologizing for walking people, for the economy, for bad sitcoms and the fact that Starbucks gets rid of Pumpkin Spice Latte in the fall, among other things...
• Michelle complaining about me being too nice when making subs...
• Me saying that Shy Michelle from DP2 may be my favourite Michelle now...
• My wife doing the beer bong with DP2
• Yappy 39er guy complaining about the draw and me telling him, "Sorry, didn't recognize you not PISSING on the field..."

Sorry... gots to work... Carol-Ann needs a new beer bong.